Yesterday was my first day of filming for my newly launched YouTube channel, Spira Yoga & Wellness. Hours of takes and retakes were almost deleted when I first began the editing process. Yes, it’s common to hate the way you look on film or cringe when hearing your own voice recorded. I've always thought the saying that the camera “adds 10 pounds” was a ridiculous statement and obviously coined by vain individuals.
With a background in theatre and a healthy self-esteem, I was surprised to find myself experiencing these cliché feelings when watching myself on film. It was horrifying.
First of all, I have a really expressive face. Almost comical! This isn't “news” to me, as I've been told so by everyone from a bus driver to my best friends to my acting teacher. But I've never seen it so explicitly. It was painful to watch! So I forced myself to watch it. Hearing my voice patterning, the way I move my hands, all of it, really, was so annoying that I debated deleting all of the takes!
Learning to love myself has taken many steps and I feel that I'm still at the beginning of the journey. After an hour or so of watching myself, I began to accept my own image. This is who I am. This is how others experience me. If they can love and support me, surely I can do the same for myself.
So if you’re one to dodge mirrors or avoid any and all recordings and images of yourself, this challenge may not be for you. But if you’re feeling brave, or ready for self-acceptance, I dare you to listen to a voicemail you've left someone or watch a video of yourself on repeat until you fall truly, deeply in love with yourself. Let’s take self-care and self-love to a deeper level. Let’s accept ourselves, the flaws we perceive, the judgements and all! Love starts with the self, and then it can radiate to others. Love yourself this holiday season, and then spread that beautiful love around! <3
"At the center of your being you have the answer:
you know who you are and you know what you want"